a)You are over 30 and as much of a bad ass as you were at 25 (or whenever your peak badassness was).
b)You were never bad ass to begin with. Congratulations, you are starting with a clean slate. Skip to the second part of this post.
c)You are under the age of 30 and still full of opportunities and hard-ons.
For everyone else, male or female, you fucked up…probably.
I went to a reading by Chuck Palahniuk, the author of Fight Club, a couple weekends back. He mentioned that his characters have a central theme of “becoming what they were destined to be no matter how they started out”. Then he said something brilliant that stuck with me. I’m paraphrasing, but essentially it was something like, “Men start out following a path that they were told was correct: They go to college, they get married, they find a job, they have kids, they buy a house, they make money. But this only takes them to their 30’s. After that, you have no more path to follow, so you sit around being bored and thinking about who you were supposed to be and most likely never becoming that person”.
This got me thinking: As I get older, I see a definitive difference between the men (and women) that have chosen to accept their boring-ass lives, and the ones who continually strive to be better…to be a reinvention of themselves every 3 years. So, if you are noticing that there is a big space where your balls used to be, I’m here with your explanation (and solution).
1) YOU STOPPED COMPETING Think about it. You used to be competitive. Whether it was sports, grades, or trying to get laid, you were thinking about how to win. At some point you stopped caring about winning and started caring about “just getting by”. Oh, and watching your local sporty-ball team compete, doing a charity 5-K, or having the “best looking lawn in the neighborhood” doesn’t count as competing, you pussy.
2)YOU SETTLED FOR PHYSICAL MEDIOCRITY Call it “dad-bod” or “mom-bod”, but whether you admit it or not, you look like shit. Whether he or she admits it or not, your significant other thinks you look like shit. When did this become acceptable? If women and men quit settling for mediocrity in their mate, the demand for physical prowess would go up. Yea, this is a society problem, but the solution to all problems starts with YOU.
3)YOU STARTED HANGING OUT WITH OTHER PUSSIES Your friends are weak. They talk about “the way things used to be”. They have settled into no.1 and no.2 very comfortably. You are a product of who you hang out with.
I hang out with some bad ass people. Some of them can lift cars, some of them can knock people out, some of them can disassemble and reassemble an automobile in a weekend. You need cooler friends. Or, even better, you need to make yourself the example of badassery your friends can follow.
1) FIND YOUR “THING” Everyone has one. I know someone that does competitive flower arranging. No shit. That’s a thing. But she competes and wins awards.
If you don’t have a “thing” get one.
I’m biased because I’m a Jiu-Jitsu guy, but combat sports/martial arts, is great for beginners. The environment is generally friendly, and the opportunity to compete on a regular basis is there. It will also help you with your mediocre physique. But if your thing is chess, find a competitive chess league. There are competitions for pretty much any activity.
Note: this is not the same thing as a hobby. You need to be in a competitive environment in which you are challenging yourself. If there isn’t a chance for losing, it isn’t a competition.
2) LIFT SOME WEIGHTS, STOP EATING CRAP This seems simplified, I know. I truly believe that most of the world’s problems would be fixed if everyone lifted some heavy shit 4-5 hours a week and stayed out of the drive-thru. You need a plan though. Hire a good personal trainer that gets results with his/her clients. It’s worth the investment to learn how to get results as efficiently as possible. Remember, you will be doing this for the rest of your life. Read this for help: www.thestrongerlife.com/muscle-less-bs
3) BECOME A LEADER AND OTHERS WILL FOLLOW A magical thing happens when you start improving yourself: the people around you either do the same or disappear. Everyone has ass-anchors. These are the people that hold you back and keep you weighed down. The easiest way to ditch the ass anchors is to improve yourself. Your real friends will become apparent. The ones that keep you from your potential badassery will bond together and talk shit about you behind your back. It’s called jealousy.